Where A Kid Can't Be A Kid

In Uganda, kids are raised a little differently. They are shouldered with much more responsibility much earlier in life and given very little in the form of nurturing and comfort. This leads to kids that are more autonomous and arguably stronger than our spoiled, over-stimulated, over-sensitized children.

The kids that live next door to me are ages 14, 11, 10, 7 and 5. They live with their parents. The home they are living in now is not their ancestral home. It is simply the home they live in because their father works at the school. Their mother lives back at their ancestral home where she manages the farm and other income generating projects. So the father lives with the five kids in this secondary home. For about the past 10 consecutive weeks, the father leaves Thursday evening for his ancestral home to do some sort of work and returns back to the school on Tuesday evening.

There are few things I take note of when this occurs. First, the father just blatently abandons his job for three out of five days of the workweek. This is pretty common at my school. Probably because my head teacher doesn't enforce almost any of the arsenal of policies he has at his disposal. The second thing that I note, is that the kids are left alone for a good 4.5 days each week. What do they do when their father is gone? Everything!

They dig in the garden. They harvest their own food. They collect their own water. They cook their own food. They cook amazing meals for me. I'm so thankful I have them. They bathe themselves everyday. They manage their own bedtimes. A few weeks ago I asked the kids if they wanted to watch a movie that night. The response from the eldest siblings literally was, "These are school days. We cannot." Meaning he refused because he knew they needed their sleep for the school the next day. I was shocked. What kind of kid in America would respond in such a manner?

They manage others bedtimes! When a neighbor boy who stays with the family showed up late one night, they refused to let him in for over two hours. The boy sat outside crying. I asked the kids why they didn't let him in for so long, they said because he was late and they had already locked the door. The boy cried a lot, but I bet he learned his lesson.

The work out their conflicts on their own. With no parents to comfort and console them, the affected siblings sit and cry, sometimes for over an hour at a time. They cry until they get tired of crying.

Even when the father is there, they work it out themselves. Last night at dinner, the seven year old daughter burned her wrist on the wood fire they use for cooking. She started crying. The father came out and asked what was wrong. The kids told them what had happened. He stood there for about five seconds, and then walked back inside the house. The daughter continued to cry for about another 20 minutes and then she was silent.

Kids are treated differently. I mentioned last night at dinner. I was having dinner with kids outside. The father never eats with his own children. He eats inside, by himself. This is pretty customary in Uganda. Many times in a household, the children and wife eat at the floor while the husband sits alone at the table. In more progressive families, the wife will eat with the husband at the table. Even in my home stay back in training, all the children at on the floor, the table was reserved for me and the mother (the father was deceased). I'm sure if he were alive he'd have been at the table, and possibly not the wife. Kids are served the least amount of food. The man of the house gets the most. As a kid, the bigger you are the more food you get. The smallest gets almost nothing.

Kids are runners. Meaning they run errands. For who? Well, for anyone who is not a kid. I take advantage of this situation daily. I have my kids go and get me things in the village or go buy food for dinner. It makes me feel lazy, but I have to admit, I like the practice. And my kids are happy to do it. For them most of the time it means they will get some sort of reward from me out of it.

Given the situation that they have been given, the kids are incredibly humble and well behaved. I continue to be impressed by their humility, respect, and discipline. And find myself paralleling what a similar situation in America would yield.

One of the reasons I believe the kids are so disciplined, is because their very survival depends on it. As a poor, rural Ugandan, there are certain things you have to do everyday. Otherwise, you don't eat, or you don't sleep, or you get sick, or you run out of money, etc. There is no social safety net. No one and no thing to fall back on. It is one man for himself, or in this case, five kids.

Dear Donors

When I walk down the street in Uganda, most times, people ask me for money. Imagine being in a large city and being approached by a bum just about every time you go anywhere. Now imagine a society where many people think you should give the money, because, after all, you have it, and that guy doesn't! This is a pretty accurate picture of poor Uganda.

I'm not saying this particular situation is wrong in an absolute sense. After all, what is right and wrong? These terms are relative, ever changing in the views of society.

This is simply the culture. In Uganda, poverty is widespread. If someone has a problem, it is customary for them to ask their friend for money. And Ugandan culture encourages fellow Ugandans to give to those in need. The problem evolves when white people enter the picture, and everyone assumes you have a lot of money. I don't.

Why do they ask for money? Because they assume we have a lot of it. Why? Because we are white. And white people usually come from rich nations. Rich nations with big houses. With big cars. With big airplanes. And flat screens. And everything else that we don't really need. Everything that a poor Ugandan thinks he wants. Thinks will make him happy. Thinks will make his life easier. And some of it will to a certain extent.

So maybe they are right, to a certain extent. We do possess relative wealth compare to our host country nationals. But last time I checked, Peace Corps volunteers aren't topping the list of America's most wealthy individuals. Most of us are pretty broke, right out of college, making less than $250 a month.

Another reason they ask for a lot of money? Because they genuinely believe we will just reach into our pockets, pull out a 50,000 shilling note, and place it in their hands. Why? Because A LOT of white people do! In fact, there is a whole business dedicated to driving around in SUVs and handing out money to poor people. You see it a lot living here.

I'm of the firm belief that all aid given in the form of money should be given with the objective of reducing and/or eliminating the need to provide future aid to that individual or nation. Basically, the goal of aid should be to stop aid. The goal of a donor organization should be to put itself out of business. I realize this is a contradiction to those wishing to remain with a purpose and/or job in this field.

And I want to carve out several caveats. I believe in relief aid. I believe in humanitarian aid. Aid given during emergencies involving the difference between human beings surviving, and human beings dying. Which transitions me to my next exemption. I believe in aid designed to keep human beings living. Such as the aid that comes in the form of anti-retroviral drugs for those living with HIV/AIDS and drugs designed to treat malaria and other deadly diseases.

What I don't believe in is gifted aid. Something that encourages nothing and has no follow up. I've seen it do so much damage to this country. It poisons the mindsets of the poor host country nationals that us volunteers live amongst. Honestly, sometimes I get the feeling that my fellow villagers resent me simply for the fact that I don't give out money. I feel as if some of them see me as a selfish muzungu. I've never had a specific incidence where this was brought up. But I've talked to several other volunteers who have had terrible experiences from this instilled sense of dependency so common in Ugandans mindset.

Dependency is destructive. It eliminates all incentive for individuals to take ownership of their own destinies and produce. It destroys work ethic. It inhibits autonomy. It creates an unsustainable cycle of give and take. One side giving all and one side taking all. It isn't the way a society can function.

How do YOU, the reader, help? Research the organizations you are giving to. What do they do exactly? How do you know for sure? How do they disperse their funds? How do they ensure accountability? What is their end goal? Can people do this themselves? Why do they need this organization?

I'm of the opinion that there is way too much money flowing into this continent. And not enough being created by the continent itself. My opinion? It should be halved. Focusing first on the exceptions I pointed out above and then on aid designed to end all aid. With milestones and checks throughout the entire process.

Somewhere along the line we as a world made a decision that it was better to prop up unstable regimes instead of allowing them to slip into chaos and despair. I guess I have to agree with this. But the end result of this philosophy isn't pretty either. That doesn't mean there is no way to win. There is. And it starts at the ground level. It starts with a change in the way we think about giving. The philosophy and principles that determine when our money is released and when it is held. Right now, we are doing a disservice to everyone. But that can change.

If you're looking for a good place to start, check out KIVA, http://www.kiva.org/. Organizations like this I feel support the end goal of what we're trying to accomplish. Be the change! Namaste.

On Corruption

Case Study #1

I was recently informed that the Uganda Little League Baseball team won a big championship and did well enough to earn a trip to the United States for a couple of weeks to compete. Upon hearing this news, like most other American volunteers, I was happy. Then I learned that the United States had denied their visas because the players parent's had lied about their ages. See link below.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/31/sports/for-uganda-little-leaguers-exhilaration-and-then-heartbreak.html?emc=eta1

As I write this, I have not been able to read the article due to no internet connection. But my immediate response to the headline, which was all I could see, was pride. I was proud. Proud of the fact that I am from a country that catches this sort of thing. That says no to corruption. That says no to deceit. That tolerates nothing but what is fair and honest, or at least tries its hardest to.

Having lived in a country for the past 18 months where corruption and dishonesty are pervasive and devastating, I felt no remorse. I have seen firsthand the effects of bad government and dishonest people. How they impact ordinary people. How it damages the chances of honest citizens trying to progress through life's stages the "right way". How it hinders development. How it destroys lives and ends them. How it destroys hope and breeds complacency.

Allowing the Ugandan Little Leaguers to field a team that knowingly lied would set an awful precedent and only fuel the fire of destruction and disrespect for rule of law. If I feel sorry for anyone, it's for the kids. I despise the adults surrounding the team. I despise their decisions and the way they made the kids believe it was ok to lie. It was ok to do the wrong thing. And my faith in our system of justice and accountability was refreshed and reinforced.

Case Study #2

A few weeks ago, I wrote a requisition for some electronic equipment for my school. I wanted to buy some new equipment for our labs in the school. I wrote the requisition out for 500,000 Ugandan shillings. At a current exchange rate of 2,600 shillings per dollar, that is approximately $192.31. A few days after I wrote the requisition, the school bursar called me into his office and handed me 500,000 shillings in cold hard cash. "Ok, you can now buy what you want." He said.

I've been living in Uganda now for nearly 18 months. The United States Peace Corps pays me a living stipend of just over 600,000 shillings a month to pay for my basic needs while serving. Not that my standard of living comes anywhere close to the common man out in the village (they are much poorer), but I think it is fair to say I have been living poor.

I looked down at the 500,000 shillings the bursar placed in my hand. I put it in my backpack and walked back to my private office at the school. I took it out and looked at it again. But what you want he said. I thought to myself, this is nearly one month's salary for me. A lot of money, to me. I could probably take this money and keep it, and nothing would happen. The school would probably not say much of anything to me. I mean, the bursar is the only one who really knows I have it, and he is here maybe two days a week and cares very little, it at all, about what goes on outside his office.

For a few minutes, I experienced the dangerous and slippery feeling of temptation that comes from working in a system with no accountability. No system of checks to ensure transparency and deter bad behavior. Now I begin to imagine that I made about 50,000 shillings a month, instead of 600,000, which is more close to the common man's salary. How desperate would I be for this money? How much effort would it take for me to not eat it? What if I had no hope of ever making any more money than my 50,000 a month? No hope for a better job. What would I do? I'm pretty sure I would eat it.

The sad thing is. I honestly believe every single one of my colleagues at my school would eat it too, if given the opportunity. Sure, they sit around a table and complain about it all day in our staff room. But if given the chance to make a ton of money so easily, living in the poverty that they do, I think the would. And can you really blame them? Yes! You absolutely can. It's wrong. It's terrible. I hate it. But it's a product of poverty. Take away the need for more money is half the battle. But that only comes from a government without corruption, one willing to give good people what they really want. It's a vicious and depressing cycle.

Of course, I didn't eat the money. But I got a sense of what it felt like to be in that situation. To be able. Able to deceive. Able to steal. With no repercussions. Now multiply the money by millions and the people by thousands. Money from donor nations and global support organizations. People from some of the poorest villages in the world, elected and trusted overnight at the flick of a voter's pen. Spread it out across an entire nation. Do you get a sense of how it could hinder? I did. And I hated it. This is why development is still just development.

Let's Talk About Sex

This past week, my friend John came to visit. While he was here, we met with all the males (around 50) from my Senior 4 class to talk about a subject that is almost universally ignored in Ugandan society: sex. Students get very little or no information from parents or teachers and are forced to go searching for it on their own. Resources for that sort of information do not exist in the village. So the result is a large population of young people with inadequate knowledge and a lot of inaccurate beliefs about all facets of the topic.

We kicked off the session with a myths and facts game about HIV/AIDS and sex. Students were asked to identify whether a statement was a myth or a fact and then migrate to that particular side of the classroom. To give you an idea of some of the topics we discussed, I've included some of the statements below. So test yourself!

Note: Each one of these statements split the group up in some way, meaning, 100% of the boys never agreed one way or the other. Answers are at the bottom of the post.

Myth or Fact

1. AIDS exists in America.

2. America has a drug to cure AIDS and is not giving it to Africans.

3. AIDS kills people.

4. You are less likely to contract HIV/AIDS if you are circumcised.

5. You can be cured of HIV/AIDS by having sex with a virgin.

6. AIDS is a disease of immoral people, such as prostitutes.

7. Although HIV transmission is a risk for everyone, women and girls are more vulnerable to HIV infection than men and boys.

After discussing each one of the above, we moved to a question and answer session. We gave each boy a sheet of paper and asked him to write down a question he had for me and John. The process was kept anonymous. Below are some of their questions:

1. If you have sex with a woman and you do not ejaculate, will you acquire HIV/AIDS?

2. Is it true that condoms spread cancer?

3. If a girl takes ibuprofen before sex, can she still get pregnant?

4. If you use a condom twice, will you acquire HIV?

5. Why is it that some people with HIV/AIDS live longer than others?

6. Is it true that you whites, after having sex with your partner, will clean your penis with her mouth?

7. When you have sex while standing up, can you still get HIV/AIDS?

8. Why do some boys not erect during sex?

9. How can I abstain from sex so that I don't get HIV/AIDS?

10. Is sex sweet?

11. Which is better? A white girl or a black girl?

12. I am good at playing sex but I don't have a condom. Can you provide me with condoms from America in order to save my life from getting HIV/AIDS?

This activity went really well. The boys submitted a lot of questions and seemed very eager to hear our responses. I find myself wondering where in the world do they come up with some of these thoughts. Then I realize, we are in the villages of Uganda, these guys have absolutely no sources of valid, credible information. And sex is just something that is not discussed much. The youth is just expected to know these things, or figure them out for themselves.

Taking on a question from one of the students

I promise, Ugandans are more excited than they look in their pictures

Answers:

1. Fact, 2. Myth, 3. Myth, AIDS does not kill people, it only weakens your immune system, it's the subsequent opportunistic infections that ultimately kill, 4. Fact, 5. Myth, 6. Myth, 7. Fact, for several reasons involving the female anatomy and nature of fluid exchange during sex

When Mango Flies Attack!

A few weeks ago I noticed two large, dark red bumps on my back just below my right shoulder blade. At first I thought they were just really bad mosquito bites. Lately my house has developed a propensity to leave many different bug bites and stings on my body. I've been in a constant mode of itching for literally the past two months. It doesn't help that I live out in a rural area and basically have an open air house. Even with a mosquito net, critters find their way into my bed and feed.

Anyways, back to the mosquito bites. I had been planning on traveling to Peace Corps medical in Kampala for other reasons. When I arrived, I showed them what I presumed to be bad bug bites. The nurse examining me, Anni, immediately exclaimed, "Hm, I wonder if it is the mango flies."

Turns out it was. And I had two small worms, the offspring of the mango fly, living in my skin. How did they get there? Mango Flies like to lay their eggs in cool, dark, wet places. So the rainy season is the most common time for laying eggs. The most likely explanation is that the mama mango fly laid her eggs in some of my wet t-shirts as they were hanging on the clothesline drying. I take the clothes inside, put on a dry t-shirt, the eggs hatch, and the newly born worms burrow their way into their hosts skins (in this case, me).

How did nurse Anni confirm they were mango fly worms? The worms breathe air, and need air to survive. Once inside your skin, they breathe through a small hole in your skin that they create themselves. When nurse Anni applied some Vaseline to my skin to cover up the two bumps, she covered up their breathing tube and the worms began to panic and move around. She could see them and I could feel them moving around in my skin.

From there the procedure evolved to removing the worms from my torso. Once the worms are deprived of air, they burrow up to the surface of your skin. From there, you squeeze them out like popping a pimple. Mine proved to be a bit more difficult to remove and we needed the assistance of a razor blade and some tweezers. Nonetheless, they were removed.

On The Way It Is

A question I ask myself often in Uganda is, "Why are things like this?"

It's usually a frustrating moment for me because each time it arises I don't have a clear answer. It's even more frustrating because, as volunteers, we believe our jobs are to change "this", improve "this", and build capacity. At least, that's what our pre-Peace Corps service, idealistic minds came to Africa with the ambitions and goals of implementing.

After 16 months in country, I think I speak for all the volunteers I came with and a majority of volunteers in Peace Corps when I say, we have been humbled. Maybe a bit disenchanted. This isn't a bad thing. It's a quantum leap in personal discovery at how societies operate outside the United States, more specifically, outside of the developed world. It makes us stronger volunteers, and it makes us smarter people.

Mostly though, it makes us appreciate the small accomplishments. If we can't appreciate those, life here would be much more difficult. And who knows, maybe a lot of what we're doing will have a large impact down the road. The problem is, you can't measure it. There is no clear metric to tell you how good a job you have done. There is no performance measurement system. In the United States, we're used to metrics and results. Here, everyone's site is different, everyone's job is different, everyone's experience is different. No two PCV's services are similar. That's another reason it's hard to measure.

Why are things like this? I have some answers, finally.

In my mind, there are two fundamental root causes for the status quo: corruption and culture. The former is bad and wrong. The latter is not.

Corruption is everywhere. However, it is most pronounced within government institutions. And I'm not just talking about the bribing an official. No, my definition is much broader. I'm talking about the abuse of power for personal gain. In America, we like to believe that the institution is bigger than the man. And for the most part it is. In Uganda, they say the man is bigger than the institution. That is what it boils down to.

The lack of a sufficient and effective accountability system is sorely lacking in just about every sector. And this causes problems for people wanting to live their lives. People wanting to get educated. People wanting to get a good job. People wanting to start a new company. People wanting to make huge investments in Uganda that will spur all of the previously mentioned.

The other is culture. The digital copy of the New Oxford American Dictionary I have on my Mac defines culture as the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively. A higher level thinking type of definition but nonetheless fairly accurate. Culture in my mind is defined by the following:

A collectives peoples...

values, morals, concept of self, concept of relationships, religious beliefs, concept of government, concept of family, concept of time, concept of achievement, concept of group harmony, laws and procedures, concept of health, and maybe a few others that I can't think of right now

After 16 months of service, I've had ample opportunity and time to experience Uganda's culture. And in many ways, it's not so different than the way we are, than our culture. Then why are our two countries so different?

Uganda is a country that values education. Many Ugandans value education. But many Ugandans don't value it enough.

Uganda is a country that values work. Many Ugandans work hard. But many Ugandans don't. And believe me, just the act of living in Uganda alone, IS WORK. A LOT OF WORK. For Ugandans of course, I have many luxuries most do not.

Uganda is a country that acknowledges the importance and value of time. Almost all Ugandans will recite the importance of time management to me. But many, if not a majority, will not conduct business in a timely manner. Though they know it is important to do so.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that our values are similar. But when you don't have the entire country fully on board, it can make things extremely difficult. If you have say 75% of the country in agreement on education, but 25% causing chaos, it makes things incredibly hard to deal with, and progress slows to a near stand still. Like in America, if you have 20% of the population that believes President Barack Obama is a Muslim and that all Muslims are terrorists (eh hm...cough cough...Tea Party...cough cough...), things become a little bit more difficult.

In terms of their cultural values, Ugandans can be more similar to Americans than some may think. It's the act of how those values are practiced (or not practiced) that distinguishes us from each other.

Even though our applications of values may be quite different, that doesn't mean their wrong. And as Americans, we tend to think the rest of the world is wrong. We need to get out of that mindset. There are a huge number of good things about America. But we need to acknowledge we're not always right. Even if the way they did practice their values was objectively wrong, you can't blame the common man for the way things are done, but most people can't really visualize this statement without first living in the arduous and unwieldy environment of rural UG.

I'm behind on my definitions and scope here a bit though. First of all, "Why are things like this?". What is "this"? And is "this" a bad thing. "This" is the status quo of Uganda as a country. Is "this" a bad thing. It depends on your criteria you use for judgement.

If you apply the criterion of achievement and accomplishment. Well, Uganda clearly has some work to do. And indeed they have a lot of work to do on many other standards.

I however (thank you Brian for bringing this to light), have found Ugandans interpersonal communications and experiences to be far richer than those of Americans.

When it comes to being self sufficient on food production, Uganda is. If there was a global economic crises, Ugandans would still be eating. Ugandans eat healthier food than Americans. They exercise more and enjoy summer weather all year long.

We are similar in more ways than than most see from a cursory glance. We both want the same things. We are all, at our most basic level, human beings with the same needs, wants, and desires. Even our cultural values are similar in some ways. It's the actual practicing of them and lack of systematic checks and balances that differentiates us the most.

Now I'll finish with a story... I had just finished a run through my village Wednesday morning when I arrived home only to be greeted by a man sitting on my porch. The man was Omukat Pius. And he is the father of one of my best female students in S.4. He had heard about the difficulties we had been having at the school lately.

He just stood up, walked over to me, apologized repeatedly over and over again while shaking my hand. He embraced me with a hug. He wrapped his hands and arms around my sweaty torso and brought me in close. We stood there and just hugged each other for a good minute or so. He hugged me tight and I hugged him back tighter. At the end, it was just what I needed. And I was reminded of the power of human being's ability to comfort one another, it was an incredible moment.

Another Week, Another Shilling

Afripads came to Kamuge as my colleague and fellow PCV Ashley came to my site to present to our girls on reproductive health. The session included teaching the girls about menstruation and answering their questions about sex. Some of the questions directly from the girls included:

Are there safe days to have sex when you cannot get pregnant?

Can condoms give you cancer?

How much sperm does a man have?

How do you abstain?

What does it mean if you are menstruating for three weeks straight?

Can you reuse condoms? (they're relatively expensive)

Her sessions have inspired me and my friend John to start our own class for boys. Boys need the info to. So why not? I'm excited to see how our first session goes next week. We may even make it a regular program and travel to other schools in Uganda to do sessions. We shall see.

Sam Ssegirinya came back to our school and showed our students how to make soap. I want to first experiment with teachers on the process and then facilitate more sessions with the students. The soap could be used for personal use or sold, giving these rural kids a little income.

We had a meeting this past Friday with all the S4s, their parent, teachers, members and officials from the community. My school is trying to improve student discipline and is enlisting all members of the community to assist the school in holding the kids accountable for showing up. It started at 11:30. The chairman opened the meeting stating he hoped to end by 1:00. It's now 4:00 and the meeting is still going strong. I ducked out after I had made my remarks at the 2:30 hour mark.