The Good with the Bad

Another week has passed in the blazing pearl. This week has been strange, characterized by a series of small victories and small failures. We had a “pop” assembly during the middle of the day on Monday, which lasted two hours and deprived the students of that lesson time for the day. Most of the teachers got up and mentioned one thing or another about the “undisciplined students” being “not serious”. My mind tends to drift into limbo during these useless diatribes.

I have been working with the students all week to get their letters written to students in America. They are excited. But they are so unorganized. I tell them to meet me at a certain time on a certain day, and they don’t. They come the next day and claim they didn’t understand. We definitely have our communication issues.

I cracked the whip on my S4s this week. I kicked a bunch out of class for not being prepared and bringing their workbooks as I had told them to do multiple times. They don’t like that. They are smart students, but they act like freaking kindergarteners all the time. Class was so quiet that day. It was great.

I had been living with only about $3 of cash on hand this week. Multiple events contributed to this unfortunate circumstance. I had to pay back a friend who had lent me some money and this threw off my regular budget. Earlier in the week I tried to go to the bank in Pallisa but the power was off and the ATM wasn’t even working. I rolled into town today with my last 2,000 shilling note praying that the bank would be up and operating, luckily it was and I’m flush again.

I tried to meet up with our Head Teacher to discuss a bore hole implementation project I’m toying with, but was unsuccessful. He had gone to town, I went and tried to find him but he was unfindable and his phone was shut off. I feel like I need some sort of in country companion to pilot these projects with, otherwise they are destined to fail. Finding motivated individuals is definitely a challenge in my community. Especially when I struggle with motivation enough as it is.

I slaughtered a chicken this week! I used the “step on the feet with one foot and the wings with the other and pull on its neck and slice its head off” technique. About halfway through cutting through its neck, I had to stop and hold it down to allow it to die so I didn’t get blood all over myself. It was pretty cool…and later…delicious.

I started my garden… again. I planted tomatoes, onions, carrots, and green peppers. I’m going to plant more (watermelon, cantaloupe, greens, eggplant) later on. Uganda is so fertile; it’s so easy to grow stuff here. And it’s a fun little project for me. Everything is done by hand here and digging with a hoe for any period of time longer than five minutes turns out to be a beast of a workout, especially with dry soil.

So Peace Corps has this document describing the emotions that volunteers experience throughout their two years of service. Here is what it said for those volunteers 11-15 months in (aka yours truly):

ISSUES: doubt about program, role, self, govt., various failures over time, reflection: disillusionment, confusion, resolving frustrations with victories

BEHAVIOR/REACTION: impatience with self, program, systems, blame on program, constant complaining, lethargy

Do I sound like any of these? Personally, I found this to be extremely accurate and a bit of a relief. I think every single volunteer can relate to at least some of these, and to different degrees. I feel like the feelings I’ve experienced have been pretty mild when compared to the overall population of volunteers. However, it’s still pretty amazing to know that we all go through the same thing, that we are all human. That our thought processes and emotions can be depicted accurately and reliably as time goes by. It’s a refreshing revelation.

Plant That Seed

It’s Tuesday, the week after the elections has gone off successfully. On Monday morning, I could detect a subtle aura of frustration and disenfranchisement amongst the teachers and administrative staff. Most of them had no trouble voting. However, they were upset at the results. The culture of political discussion is quite different here.

In America, it’s quite the taboo topic in a professional setting. However, Ugandans discuss politics pretty regularly and openly amongst each other. Many Ugandans wear t-shirts with a picture of the head of their candidate for president. I can’t imagine this happening in a professional setting in the states.

“I was very disappointed.” Mr. Otoke says after I ask him what he thought of the election results. He then continues to talk about the election and how the Members of Parliament (the U.S. equivalent of Congressmen) that he voted for did not win. And how some “shady characters” ended up winning the election.

I keep hearing stories about different voters showing up to their specific polling station only to find out that their name is not on the “list”. They are then told to go to another polling station, which is two districts away and unreachable in terms of money for transport. Many villagers cannot afford the taxi fare. And even if they can afford to reach the new polling center, their name is missing from that list, and they are referred somewhere else, and so on and so forth.

Today teachers were saying “Peaceful, yes! Free and fair, no.” I told them that international observers seemed to be happy with the results. I don’t think they bought into much of what I said. Neither do I, I have no clue. All I saw were the long lines.

So the country moves forward. This week has been busy in a different way with lots of random meetings and events. Somehow we are still scrambling to get organized for this term. We are now four weeks in. We keep getting new teachers and transfers. Teachers keep transferring out. And trying to organize these new staffing arrangements without strong administrative leadership from the school turns out to be complicated. Surprise?

There are more rounds of elections for local office tomorrow. Students kept hinting that school may not be in session for this reason. So what do I do? I go and ask the teachers if we will have school tomorrow. They don't know. Next, I go to ask the administrative staff if school will happen tomorrow. "It is likely not to happen," is the response I get. How does this happen? Haha. I ask my Head Teacher. He says no, school will continue. This was earlier in the day. I just got word 30 minutes ago that it's a public holiday. Gotta love it.

I’m happy to report that progress is being made on a school garden we took on this term. Land is being cleared for a seven-acre plot. The hope is that we can use this garden to feed the students lunch during the school year. I’m happy to see that the leadership on this project is coming completely from the school, and not me. I just planted the proverbial seed of thought into the teacher’s minds.

I started a pen pal writing program with some of my students on Monday. They are eager to begin writing to students in America. Below is a picture taken yesterday.

I Wish They Would Smile!

It'll Set You Free

While on a run yesterday, my mind began questioning what makes a society function…well. It was Election Day. And I found myself, once again, running through the dirty, crowded, chaotic, and scattered streets of this country. I often ask myself, what is so hard about cleaning up a city? Or building good quality roads?

The country lacks the foundation of democratic infrastructure needed to sustain what it calls a government of the people. There are no real, powerful objective institutions. As many of my colleagues at the school say, the man is bigger than the institution. When ideally the institutions should be bigger than the man. The country’s leadership usually keeps a low profile. Their daily appointments and tasks kept secret from the general public. It’s difficult to know just what the president is up to on any specific day.

People have little faith in change. They keep strolling to that ballot box every 5 years with the hope that some unique effect will be derived from their actions. Something that will help them. Something that will help the country. But year after year, all they are met with is more corruption, more complacency, more dysfunction. It’s something that has become an innate part of the culture in many people here.

In the United States, we have these institutions. They are stronger than the man. They are stronger than corruption. They are stronger than the power of those elected and appointed. We built the oldest, most transparent, overanalyzed, criticized, scrutinized, examined, researched, recorded, photographed, discussed, admired, audacious, hated, envied, examined, inspected, explored, resilient, stable, wealthy, flexible, accountable, sustainable, self-sufficient, failsafe, and secure form of uniformly representational democracy ever known to man. How lucky we are. How far we have come.

The effects and conditions of countries subsisting without these adjectives in their so-called democracies contribute to a harder life for those people living in those countries. They cast away opportunity. There are no easily navigable channels here to earn a better life for yourself. There are no student loans. No student jobs. You have to truly work at it. And if you make it, you've done exceptionally well. But to make it in a community like the small village of Kamuge in Pallisa District in Uganda, East Africa, it requires you to become a magician. To make teachers appear where there are none. To make reliable health professionals and prescription medicine appear where there are none. To bring light to a place where the students evening study sessions are cloaked in darkness. To make clean and nutritious food available when there is none at school.

Navigable channels. My whole life I feel like I have been overwhelmed with opportunity. And a general feeling that there would and will always be a path for me to reach my next goal. A loving and supportive family. Great friends. A fantastic public education system. A quality and affordable university education system. A vast and thriving job market. A freedom to choose to do what I want to do. An ability to act on that choice. Choice. Choice.

What’s a difference between us and the developing world? We have a choice.

The election is over. The votes are being tallied. Uganda has made their “choice”. It appears to be Museveni, again. I praise this country for being as peaceful as it has for this long. I hope it lasts a few more days while tensions are still high. I continue to be amazed at the grace and perseverance human beings can display day in and day out in a country with so many problems. But, the people have spoken, and though the election may have been marred by semi-corrupt and unfair electoral practices, which I know almost nothing about, I truly respect and support the will of the people, if the count truly represents their majority opinion, if it represents truth.

Uganda Votes

Elections are imminent. In two days, millions of Ugandans will travel back to their home villages or their closest polling station to cast their ballots in favor of the incumbent, President Museveni, or one of the seven different opposition candidates, one of which, is a women.

So far, the process leading up to election day has been very peaceful, especially when compared to other events currently going on throughout Africa and much of the Middle East.

As PCVs living in country, we get many updates on how the campaigns are going and any potential threats. So far we’ve been told that things have been calm this week and that Museveni has been fighting fair (although African standards of fair are quite different than American standards).

Museveni has been in power for 25 years. And he has done many great things for Uganda. In talking with voters in my community (colleagues and students), it’s difficult to develop any sort of logical consensus as to what a majority of Ugandans believe. Some of them still love Museveni and think he should keep on keepin’ on. Others think he should have left tomorrow and will vote for anyone but him.

Most of my fellow teachers pass their morning tea and afternoon lunch breaks embarking on diatribes against the two and half decade incumbent. Others, like my S4 students, praise him for providing them with free universal education, something they would not be able to afford otherwise, even though it’s quality may be lacking. And like almost every other nation, these opinions change depending on what region of the country you are in. I happen to be in an anti-incumbent region.

With seven different opposition candidates, it would be difficult for one of them to gain the required 51% majority to win elected office. What would be more interesting to see is the opposition vote depriving Museveni of his required 51% for re-election, in which case the vote goes to a runoff of the top two finishers. Some Ugandans recently informed me that although many of them support the different opposition candidates, on election day, they will all select the one they believe to be the strongest, in hopes of defeating the incumbent, I found this very interesting.

However, I’m still very much an outsider when it comes to this topic. I wish I could speak intelligently about the current issues, candidate platforms, and relevant statistics to be able to develop an informed opinion, but to be honest, I have no clue. I don’t understand what is meaningful to Ugandans and what they are going to be voting on on Friday. I wish I did. I wish I could communicate it to everyone back home. But I think it is far too complicated and limited solely to Ugandans’ actual perspectives. Alas, I remain neutral. It feels great to be in Uganda during such an exciting and unique event. I hope for a vote that is free, fair, and peaceful for all Ugandans.

One Year In, One Yearnin'

“This school used to be better.” Our DOS (Director of Studies), Madam Aloro Ester, tells me one day. We were sitting outside the administration block in the cool shade of a nearby mango tree. Ester has some passionate views. Ones that she voices almost everyday she is at the school. She is always ranting about some issue, usually concerning politics, education, the food, or our “undisciplined” students.

Sometimes I join her just for fun. All the Ugandan teachers in the room get a huge kick out of that. I will go on rants about how sick I am of posho and beans for lunch and ask why they don’t give us something else. Or we will talk about daily happenings in Uganda and I will question them and tell them it makes no sense to me.

Back to the mango tree, we were both sitting there. I was watching as she called students over and told them to “tuck in” their uniforms and be smart. Then a group of seven girls got caned for skipping class. It looks pretty painful from up close. Caning doesn’t happen often at my school, so I was a bit surprised.

Mrs. Aloro Ester explaining her frustrations

After the beatings, she started talking to me about how Kamuge High School used to be a few years ago. The students were more disciplined, they wanted to learn, their performance was better, and teachers were paid more. She told me that when the Ministry of Education introduced Universal Secondary Education (USE), everything started to deteriorate at Kamuge High.

The school could no longer accept school fees. Before USE was implemented, the school was charging 49,000/= per student per term. That’s around $25. This money was used to reimburse teachers for public transportation costs in their commute to and from the school. These costs can sometimes add up to 25-30% of their monthly pay. It was also used to reward teachers for better performance. This money is no longer there. The teachers do not get reimbursed for travel expenses and bonuses are unheard of. They received a huge pay decrease from a salary that is already ridiculously low. Some make $100-200 a month.

The students now pay nothing, zero. Which means the families also pay nothing. Not a shilling. When was the last time you received something for free? Do you still have it? Did you value it all that much? Do you even remember what it was? Now, what was the last thing you purchased? How much was it?

My point is, I believe making education completely free at this school was a really bad idea. Because it is free, I don’t think the families or the students value it as much. Because it is free, I think the students have less incentive to come everyday and the families have less incentive to make their children come everyday. Spending money hurts, and if they spent money on school fees for their kids, they’re more likely to make them go and get their money’s worth. Especially here, in country where money is so scarce.

The government mandated that the school must accept everyone. Fine, I have no problem with this. But it exploded the school population. It is now double what it was in earlier years. And the government did nothing to increase the resources of the school to handle the increase in volume. If anything, it decreased the resources indirectly by decreasing the money flowing into the school.

The government mandated that the school must accept ALL new S1 students with an aggregate P7 score of 28 or less. Ok, translated into American education terms, this would be like admitting a student who just completed 8^th grade with an average of 30% or better in all courses into high school with no questions asked. Furthermore, the government mandated that we are not allowed to fail ANY student whatsoever. Each student must be allowed to move on to the next grade no matter how poorly they perform.

The government also made caning illegal. The teachers claim that this is the only way to discipline the students. I happen to disagree but it’s just one more thing that adds to their difficulties.

Ester talked about how she used to love being a teacher. She loved to come to school and teach students who were eager, disciplined, and ready to learn, students who respected the teacher and performed well. Now she says she has lost all her love for the profession. And who can blame her after all that has happened?

Universal Secondary Education, hm, it sounds great. Accessible education for everyone? Yeah, it’s a great ideal and one every nation should strive for. But the way it has been implemented in some parts of this country has had devastating effects on the quality of education.

Our school’s results came out from last year. We had zero students finish in Division 1. Doesn’t really mean much to people back home, but it is bad. And the teachers sit around and talk about how disappointed they are in the students, and then they sort of laugh about it and talk about how bad everything is, it’s an interesting dynamic that plays out.

Friday marked my 1-year anniversary since arriving in Uganda. Only 1.25 more years to go! To reflect on the title of this post, I guess I yearn for the American ideals I had come to learn during my first 26 years of life. But I know that is an unrealistic goal. In some ways it feels like I have learned and accomplished a lot, in others I feel like I have accomplished nothing, a common Peace Corps reflection among many volunteers.

Kagoye Said Kaizen!

Well kids, I’ve survived the first week of classes for the year. Somehow, the week ended in a much more upbeat and positive manner. My counterpart was able to continue to get his random naps in throughout the day…

Library

Staff Meeting

Oumolo successfully got a sharp looking new haircut with the assistance of his older brother and a shoddy razor blade (made in China of course).

And the week culminated in the valiant yet unsuccessful attempt to install our brand new patriotism sign out in front of our school. Isn’t that blue just fantastic?

In all honesty, the rest of the week went a lot better. I was able to get some good teaching in with my S4s, also known as “candidates” because they will sit this year for UNEB exams. More and more teachers showed up and some even taught! And we had a fairly, positive staff meeting on Friday which only lasted 3 hours and 47 minutes! Still no timetable, but the idea of creating and completing one has made great strides into the minds of my colleagues. I had told the timetable master that we would meet this morning at 9:00 am to start it. As of about 10:30 he had not shown and his phone was completely off. So I came to P-Town.

On the first day of classes, Mr. Otoke saw that I had brought my camera and immediately insisted that the two of us go together to his home to take pictures of him with his entire family. So we did. I got there and he told them to hurry. They all changed into their nicest clothing and struck a pose.

I’m rediscovering just how exhausting teaching can be. Both Wednesday and Friday I taught the S4s for over two hours. Standing and lecturing constantly in this 100+ degree heat really takes it out of me. And I’m reminded of my days last term of studying for the LSAT. Now I reserve the morning for teaching and the afternoons for easier work.

On Friday, we had an assembly with those students that came to school. During the assembly, one of our teachers, Mrs. Sarah Kagoye got up and gave a speech. She pulled the word Kaizen (Japanese word for continuous improvement) out of nowhere and started talking about personal development both in our lives and in academics. My I.E. mind was blown away! I loved it.

Click the image below to go to pictures from this past week. There are also some older photos from last year in this album. Enjoy!

The Ugly Side of Peace Corps

I’m sitting here in my office at 9:00 am on a Tuesday morning. It’s the second day of classes. None of the teachers are here. The Head Teacher is not here. The Deputy Head Teacher is not here. We have maybe 10% of the student body present on this second day.

The school’s organization as a whole lies in shambles. We were supposed to have a meeting last Friday to hammer out the details. It never happened. No excuse as to why it didn’t happened. My Head Teacher left for Kampala the Thursday before and didn’t give a second thought as to who would organize the meeting. Naively, I showed up at my school at 10:00 am ready to help establish our plan for the term. No one was there.

The Friday before classes begin is already too late to start planning for the term. But I had still hoped it would happen. I sit here in my office on this cool Tuesday morning filled with frustration, depression, and hopelessness. We are two days into the term and we do not have a timetable established and there is no action planned in the future to do so. I tried to call some of my colleagues this morning to initiate some kind of meeting. Their phones are off or out of battery due to no power or out of network coverage due to shitty reception throughout the country. No one can be reached. No one seems to care. Why am I here?

How do you coach this disaster? This isn’t coachable! In this microcosm of rural education culture created by years of poverty and oppression, what can I do?

Yesterday, eight teachers showed up throughout the day. Which lasted until about 1:30 pm. Eight teachers! Out of 22 assigned teaching staff. Not a lesson was taught. We had a school assembly at noon in which I counted 56 students out of an estimated student body of well over 600.

Every teacher spoke. I was first. My message was short, positive, and spoken with as much energy as I could summon in that moment. Then the rest of the teachers spoke. Their messages were negative and belittling. They blamed the students as the reason they were not teaching. “If you come to school, we will teach you,” they say. Bull shit! I say. If all the students showed up at 8:00 am on this day, it would be a waste of their time. At 8:00 am on this day, when school is supposed to begin, there was no staff.

I say, the teachers are paid, via direct deposit, by the Ministry of Education, the national bureaucracy responsible for Ugandan education. The teachers are administered by the local primary or secondary school for which they work. So if you have an administration that doesn’t care whether its teachers show up, there are absolutely no repercussions for not teaching. And who would want to work for money if they didn’t have to, and still get paid. That sense of an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay is somehow lost, a partial result of a check the box mentality versus rewarding someone for one’s true and innate ability and performance. It’s not always pervasive, but the problem still persists in some manifestation (big or small) throughout each day I’m here. Today is a big day.

My Head Teacher is retiring in 90 days. Something he decided to tell me just yesterday. He has already checked out mentally, something I feel like he did a long time ago. Maybe I can fill his position. I tried to contact my Peace Corps education director this morning to ask for her permission, but I couldn’t reach her too.

The school is quiet now, either the students have left or there is some semblance of organization happening. I’m going to step out and see if any more staff members have arrived. Maybe we can get something ironed out. And my feeling of hopelessness may begin to recede.