On Saying Goodbye

This past weekend, a great volunteer and someone I've gotten to know really well over the last few months finished her service. I came to town to help her finish packing, clean out her house, and say goodbye.

She had been in her community for two years. She had an amazing community that absolutely loved her. Being there with her as she was saying goodbye was definitely a difficult experience for me.

It brought to light how short our time really is here in country. And how deep the connections we make really are. When someone leaves the community, Ugandans express their emotions deeply and passionately. They don't see it as a good thing. They are all sad and devastated. They cry, they call, they cry, they call, they cry some more.

All they know is that you are leaving to return back to America, a place they have never been and will likely never see.

I got a little taste of what it was like to COS (close of service). And I didn't like it. It was a sad, emotional event. Full of uncertainty for the future and fear of returning back to the developed world after living and adjusting your life to a very specific, very difficult (at times) culture and environment for two years.

Sometimes I feel like I'm always on the move, in transit. A transient. I wish that I could be in the same place for an extended period of time. Stable, familiar, calm. But then I question whether I would truly be happy in the same place. Maybe? Maybe not? I guess it goes to show the grass is always greener no matter where you are in life.

This past weekend was difficult. But it prepared me more mentally for what is to come one day when I finally have to leave this warm country. Whenever I make a big transition, I try to focus on what is to come, rather than what I'm leaving behind. Some people struggle with this and can only focus on what they're leaving behind in the moment. I'm not sure which approach is better. I know which one makes me feel better emotionally.

I was discussing these difficult transitions as well as other life challenges with my friend here in country. He told me "No matter what Joe, both our lives are pretty darn good right now." That really resonated with me. It can be so difficult to keep things in perspective. And even more difficult to do it often. But it so important. And I'm still searching for that attitudinal balance between "grass is always greener" and "pretty darn good". If any of you have it figured out, kindly let me know.